Two Fridays ago I made a plan to leave. I had been feeling frenzied- a kind of bad energy that sometimes actually speaks to me, for a day or two already, then low mood and lonliness entered the picture and it makes a lethal combination especially when believing you are invincible is added to the mix. So all these things were swimming around my head when I decided to leave my home and unlike most people making thier way to work, (people who even though they know they are going to have a shitty day still get up and carry on) I made my way to Westminster Bridge- the easiest to get to. A young Italian man tried it on and I had to tell him that mate ' This is not the time or place'. I mean, who starts a relationship before jumping off a bridge? Not even I am that crazy;).
Obviously I am still here. I have still been here after each attempt since 2007 when I first began self-harming and trying to end my life. I honestly am not sure if i want to live but there is enough doubt to make it so that I am over familiar with paracetamol.
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