Living Lilly

                   what LIFE is for


I may not know them, i may just read about them in the paper or hear about them from friends or in some sad cases have been their friend. The young people that have died. Who am i to say before their time and they may have left their legacy, your legacy doesn't have to have been SEEN by the world to have been felt by it. But i feel so sad because i know them. I don’t need to have done life with them to know them. I know and we all know them, we know the feelings of working, worrying and waiting for their future. And so we all know how sad it is that they are gone before their work is complete, or their worrying has dissipated or before getting to what they had been waiting for.

And saddest of all is when you hear those young people have been in distress. Or lonely or sad. And that has been the reason they are no longer here. Those wounds are just as serious as a broken back they kill too it's just that they SHOULDN'T kill. Not that a collision that kills instantly when you have been full of joy the second before is any better a way to die or any easier for family and friends to bear. I have attempted suicide and know that distress and it would have been the worst way to die. What i have come to realise is that life is a blessing even if you do not feel it to be. And there are many that judge do not understand(why do you want someone to understand because in order to understand they would have to have been there and i know i do not want others to travel to where i have been) and think you selfish(many of us stayed only as long as we did FOR other people), attention seeking – the list goes on and it always will despite any work professionals do to disprove this as always being the case with a suicidal person. But whether you are Christian or not it is important to know that people did not make you(as in they did not make your spirit, your soul etc even if they did ‘make’ you). So people, their actions their words against you etc should not be able to destroy you, don’t give them that right or make them a god . No person is a god and as a Christian no one is a god but God and he has made me/you. He has never told me i am not good enough and he would know the quality of his own work. So do not believe man telling you that you are not good enough or worthy. I hope you hear this and i hope i hear this because i am writing this as much to myself as to you who may read this not AT you. Life is for living because that is what he made us for.

I hope to remember this fact for everyday of this year and that even if i see it as a burden that i live this life. I wish the same for you. That is my resolution for 2011.

And part of this living shall include wearing the dresses i want to wear. And trying out the lipsticks i want to try - provided i have also applied a good covering of Lipcote. Lipstick teeth is NOT the version of sexy i am going for. A mysterious bite has appeared on my lip overnight so am wondering if there is a product to help with that first and foremost?
Blackbirdie

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